• DRUNK MEN IN SAUDI

A Filipino, a German and a Masri got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia. So for the terrible crime, they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: “It’s my first wife’s birthday today and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.”
The German was first in line. He thought for a while and then said: “Please tie a pillow to my back.”

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Masri was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: “Please fix two pillows to my back.”
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Masri was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Filipino was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: “You are from one of most beautiful parts of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!”
“Thank you, your most royal and merciful highness,” the Filipino replied.

“In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.”
“Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave.” The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face.
“If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
“And what is your second wish, ?” the Sheikh asked.
Filipino smiled and said, “Tie the Masri to ­my back” !!!

• MENTAL HOSPITAL

Si GMA bumisita sa isang mental hospital.

GMA: Kilala mo ba ako? Ako ang presidente.

PASYENTE: A, ‘wag kang mag-alala, nung bago ako rito lagi ko ring sinasabi na ako ang pre­sidente. Pero mayroon kaming mahuhusay na duktor at ikaw ay gaga­ling din.  -gurL_nx_do0r

• PRUWEBA

Mga PRUWEBA ang INSTIK ang mula sa UNGGOY:

Tsung GO

Mat CHING

Chim Pan SY

Orangu TAN

ONG guy

• HUWAG GAGANTI

Mag-asawa nag-uusap:

LALAKI: Kapag nagagalit ako sa iyo, hindi ka gumaganti. Paano mo na-kokontrol sarili mo?

BABAE: Nililinisan ko ang inidoro.

LALAKI: Paano naman iyon nakatutulong?

BABAE: E ‘di ginagamit ko sepilyo mo.

From: Joey of C.G.

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